November, 2007
SFC HEADQUARTERS DOCTRINE
HOCK'S Web Log
"Read by Thousands Round' the World!"
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11/30/07 Things a little Slow, or Rather Fast
We are slowly revamping the webpage, we just let loose the December CQC Dispatches to the four winds, and I am off to Europe. These three things have left the ol' blog here a bit vacant of late. I shall be back sharp and ready to go in December. Stay tuned.
11/24/07 New Multiple Opponents / Mixed Weapons DVD
"I first took this module 'on the road' starting in London, England in 2003. Joe Hubbard and I did it at a British Army base and the seminar was also open to police and civilians. It was well-received. Since then, I have been honing, testing, observing performances, adding and adjusting to the module. Now at the end of 2007, I think I shaped it up into a great training DVD that I am really confident and proud of. I can you tell you frankly, no brag-just fact, that NOBODY else has covered this subject, hand, stick, knife, gun AND GROUND problems, like I have here in this module and in the DVD set. I have mapped out, core, practical, realistic, group exercises you can use in your classes." - Hock
For more. Read the exercise list- Click on Multiple Opponents/Mixed Weapons
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/23/07 A Cartoon Worth 1,000 Words
Police work and war work are different animals.
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/22/07: What Not To Say Continued: Alpha to Beta-The Command Voice Degrades to Pleading Voice
A conflict ensues. You are either a main subject of it, or a citizen, police officer or military personnel trying to mediate, break up or end the problem. You start out really well with a strong, confident command voice. The actual words will vary situation by situation but in general, strong words are:
“Get out here!”
"Stand over there!"
“Get down on the ground!”
“Put your hands behind your back!”
“Leave him alone!”
“Let me go!”
“No!”
“Move and I’ll kill you.”
Words to this effect. You get the idea. They are often sentences that I’ve called exclamation point sentences, because the emotion and voice are exclamatory and if written down would end in such a punctuation.
In 2007, Minnesota University Doctors Bill Lewinski and Dan Houlihan began calling them “Alpha Commands.” By designating them as alpha, they may have allowed for a continuum of letters to begin which may define and re-define conflict communication. This title comes as a result of conducting law enforcement studies on personal observations, reviewing documentaries and the recent flood of “squad car” footage. Their theory is also based on the years of study in the education fields of recalcitrant children, classroom teacher control methods and working with the autistic. All are excellent study groups in this subject matter, and the results bear great fruit.
They have not only coined the term "Alpha Commands," but identified lesser and confusing orders they call “Beta Commands” - those of less precise tone and instruction and are somewhat confusing.
As I see this, Alpha and Beta Command examples are:
Alpha Command: Stop resisting now!”
Beta Command: “Now, you had better quit this...you are only going to get into more trouble.
(I have heard this dialogue in many, many arrests! In the middle of fights.)
Alpha Command: Stop fighting me now!
Beta Command: "You don't want to do this. This isn't going to help."
Alpha Command: “Get out of here!”
Beta Command: “ I think you had better re-consider what you are trying to do and it would be wise for you to leave.”
Dr. Lewinski cites more Beta examples: (I added the parenthesis questions)
Beta- "Move," (where?)
Beta - "Give it up," (how? what?)
Beta - "Don't be stupid," (this relates to doing what?)
Beta - "Stop screwing around," (this relates to doing what?)
Beta - "Knock it off," (knock what off?)
Beta- "Don't make me kill you."
In this "don't make me" category...how many times have we heard a parent, a police officer, a coach say, “don’t make me..?” Dr. Houlihan cites an incident from the law enforcement studies in which an officer was in a stand-off with a suspect who was gripping a knife. "The officer told him 5 times, 'Don't make me kill you' before he finally did shoot the suspect. A terrible command! He might have thought he was conveying an order to put down the knife, but that's not what he said. It was left up to the suspect to interpret what the officer meant and what action was expected. In effect, the suspect was put in the position of having to control the officer's behavior."
This gets murkier and more odd. Dr Lewinski observed that,
”In violent confrontations, the research revealed, officers' command
style tended to be dramatically different. As threats appeared and escalated,
officers overwhelmingly employed primarily 'beta' commands. "
This would seem to be mistake and less productive, yet happens frequently. I can attest to seeing this numerous times and I am unsure if I even myself have engaged in such language at times. How exactly may this be a mistake?
Alpha-Command to Beta-Pleading?
It seems obvious that Alpha Commands would be better than Beta Pleadings when the fight starts. I believe that people may get themselves into trouble when they start first with Alpha commands and drop down to Beta. In these Beta commands, aren't the once command/authority figures suddenly, more-or-less pleading with their subjects on the first signs of resistance? Have they lost command and are now losing their focus and confidence? Allow me to take this one step further. What does the suspect think of the Alpha to Beta drop on a subliminal level? What will most recalcitrant children think? I think many if not most will translate the Alpha-command to the Beta-pleading drop as them starting to win a bit. They have gained a bit of ground as you have lost ground, and this loss may inspire them to continue their ways and intentions. Push to see what else happens.
What Will the Witnesses Think?
With this research will come the inevitable questions I usually hear:
"What will witnesses think when they hear only these harsh tones?"
" Isn't is good that witnesses will hear me offering the criminal choices and pleading with him?"
"Isn't it good for witnesses to hear me plead - don't make me hurt you?"
Well, all fighting is situational. I think you had better win the day first and maximize your survival, than worry about pleasing extraneous witnesses and lose the fight, chastity, limb or life. I do think for sure that all citizens, police and the military can learn from these examples, whether they are raising children, avoiding fights, arresting criminals, capturing enemy soldiers, controlling crowds or negotiating surrenders.
This may all sound like Greek to you now? But, I think you should understand the Alpha through Omega of the Alpha / Beta.
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/21/07: What Not to Say Continued: Big Words
Most experts and veterans will agree that under the stress of a conflict, people have some level of difficulty understanding big words, and respond much better to simple commands and single syllable questions and orders. This in part, harkens back to the last entry when we discussed the aspects of using intellectual, psychobabble and analyzer on the “sudden stranger/strangers that pop up in front of you with nefarious goals in mind.
In law enforcement we are reminded to keep our orders simple and short. But keep them coming, like:
Get up.
Get down.
Hands up.
Get out.
Shut up.
Give up.
Drop the knife.
Move in.
Charge!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go…
Stop.
Etc.
And keep repeating in a good, confident voice, as needed. How does this relate to the victim of a crime rather than a take-charge police officer or take-charge citizen? Usually the victim is also stressed and cannot construct eloquent phrases. Yet you will often find complicated language in how-to, de-escalate textbooks written by desk-bound administrators, doctors or idealists.
Keep your dialogue simple. Use short phrases rather than:
“I suggest you des-escalate your hostility or you will never
achieve your desired goals, young man.”
Stressful times call for simple communication for all parties involved.
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/19/07 Timing is Everything.
Watching over thousands of students and seminar attendees over the years, I have observed that often, "training time"...or more appropriately training speed ...and the time it takes to do something, varies between two practitioners. Usually, this is a grievous problem between two rookie partners and is deceiving and unproductive. Here's why.
Two newer trainees are trying to work a grappling move, for example. One , the actual executor (and we will henceforth call him the executor,) is executing the move. He is doing so slowly and methodically to learn the move and make sure he understands it. He is purposely moving at 30 MPH. The "other" gets grabbed, reacts and moves as if it is for real! He reacts at 100 MPH. He speeds along and naturally does counters that would not exist if the executor was running at 100 MPH also.
The executor becomes frustrated. The immature, rookie/executor thinks the move does not work, and justly so to him because both parties in are caught in their own time warps and speeds. As an instructor, keep an eye out for this in your classes.
This type of problem really manifests itself when the "newer breed," self defense people proclaim-
"oh, we REALLY fight. We do everything full speed right away. None of the pansy, slow motion stuff. "
Often in this crowd we hear the term "pressure test" loosely tossed around. It has been my experience that the "we-really-fight." pressure-testers are usually quite skill-less, and are more wild asses and elbows. Real fights are indeed asses and elbows enough, without trying to be an ass in the first place. Pressure testing means INCREASING the pressure appropriately, not fighting full force with a new training technique right away, and making pass/fail judgments on the tactic.
And of course they can't and don't really fight full out, anyway.
No one could survive a month of this do or die intensity.
Nothing replaces the hard work work of progressive training.
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/16/07 What NOT To Say continues: Chess or Checkers? The Gestalt Therapy Model and "Playing the Therapist Card"
"Gestalt therapy focuses more on process (what is happening) than content (what is being discussed). The emphasis is on what is being done, thought and felt at the moment rather than on what was, might be, could be, or should be. Gestalt therapy is a method of awareness, by which perceiving, feeling, and acting are understood to be separate from interpreting, explaining and judging using old attitudes. This distinction between direct experience and indirect or secondary interpretation is developed in the process of therapy. The client learns to become aware of what they are doing psychologically and how they can change it. By becoming aware of and transforming their process and a rooty, tooty, tooty and a blah, blah, blah…."
Okay did ja' get that! Don't you see instantly how it relates to a mugger surprising you? Well, I don't. And I really don't mean to pick on Gestalt Therapy, but I have used it for years as a crude symbol of…playing the Therapy Card. It is symbolic of much of the psycho-babble students often hear from instructors on how to handle attackers.
Some suggestions:
"…find out what he needs and thereby discover what will potentially solve the crisis. You need to tap into the emotional dimensions driving his behavior toward you or whoever is the focus of his outburst."
"…instrumental behavior involves superficial demands and recognizable objects that, if sorted and obtained, you …(YIKES! Here comes the hook punch!)
Some of these investigate-his-mental-condition therapy systems may work well in the fields of dissecting a crime or criminal for court, or for future threat assessment, or things like marriage counseling, workplace team building, or hostage negotiation, but they are hard to directly translate into the quick street and battlefield encounter. Why? Simple. The word "time." Time is involved in these aforementioned events. Enough time. Roll your sleeves up time. Make a pot of coffee time. Time's up, come back for next Wednesday's session, kind of time. This investigative mental chess takes time. Street fights and crimes are more like Checkers. Fast, not too much thought, and the king can jump all over you really fast.
"Mental chess takes time. Street fights and crimes are more like Checkers.
Fast, not too much thought, and the king can jump all over you really fast."
My point here is that some self defense instructors toss these therapies up in front of you, (sometimes to sound ever-so-educated by the way), and scrabble off some intellectual solutions or two that so often won't relate to the real street problem. A problem being, ducking a babbling drunk's, surprise hook punch. Do we really have the time to do a proper psychological assessment on a street fighter or common thug?
Like Gestalt therapy dissects the brain, it is great to know how a car engine’s really operates, but actually driving the car in rush hour requires a different set of skills than that of a mechanic's.
Knowing how the fuel injection system is linked to ignition switch doesn't help too much in the three car pile-up. In fact, driving a car is lot like checkers. Go right. Go left. Straight. Gas. Breaks. Back up. He's coming over in my lane! Not much time to assess the troubled, childhood experiences of the driver in the left lane. If only I....BOOM. Your head's in the windshield.
Can you really intellectually analyze the sudden stranger. Do we play Gestalt Chess...or King Kong Checkers?
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/13/07 What Not To Say Continues: May I help You With Something?
I worked a rape case years ago where a rapist broke into a house. A woman was naked in her bedroom, brushing her hair in the mirror. She turned to see the stranger in the doorway and said instinctively, "May I help you with something?"
When I interviewed her, she had such a clear memory of the crime and I asked her again for confirmation, "what did you say again?"
"May I help you with something?"
"What did he say?"
"You bet you can, bitch!" Of course that is what he said, and it is predictably what most thugs on the nervous, power trip of crime would say.
What puzzles me is how do we as individuals raise to the lofty, mental aerospace to think that such a submissive, "service-related" question is acceptable, that our civilized personalities pose this type of question to a home invader/ sex offender? There are probably ten good essays on the subject. Power points on the essays would reveal issues on social idealism, inexperience, surprise, shock and a general un preparedness for the harsh realities of life. Since then, I've heard of so many such service-related, submissive and invitational opening remarks by victims:
"What can I do for you?"
"There must be something I can do for you."
"How may I help you?
"What do you want?"
"Please don't hurt me! I will do anything you ask."
I do think that some of these instant responses are mimicked right out of role-playing from movies and televisions. The role of the victim. What the victim said. How the victim acts. The victim is played out before you weekly on the media.
Criminals often have the element of surprise, often have weapons, often out-size and out-number you. You may have no choice to surrender your money, car keys, and maybe even the ugly, etceteras of a violent, sick world. There is a significant difference with reluctantly cooperating with a criminal and being overly, invitational submissive.
Walking the tightrope of the "reluctant victim" is well...walking a tightrope. It is a concept, not a solid checklist. Some aspects? Complain a little. Stall a little. Say little. Protest a little. Move slow enough to cooperate. It is all a case-by-case basis. Once again, with all psychological tightropes to walk, all the differing criminals and situations to deal with? Silence might be golden at times.
We blurt out many surprise things when shocked or ambushed. Any of us could say anything at any time. Just make note of what I report here. I have come to believe from experience, study and observation that criminals are encouraged by these remarks. Sometimes a purse snatching is encouraged into a rape. A car jacking into a rape. A push becomes a broken nose. A shove becomes a few more kicks to your ribs when you are on the ground. Criminals of opportunity like to take their opportunities where and when they can get them.
What is that old saying? "Be careful what you ask for?"
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/11/07 What Not To Say Continues: Terms of Endearment
Dear Sir,
I am writing you this letter today because I have a problem automatically calling you…sir!
One of the most annoying and problematic bits of verbal de-escalation advice I see in modern training is the repeated effort to call each and every protagonist…”sir.” The term is blindly used in training. No one thinks about the validity of it. In the same way, a common problem in police training is the subtle insistence to call everyone "sir, mister or ma'am." For many schmoozy, public relations officers, Adolph Hitler would be called “Mister Hitler” in a press conference. I could never abide by this lingo nonsense.
First off, when you examine the big picture of all the 12 Step Primer 1: “Who People," that might attack you, the continuum ranges from Ted Bundy or a crazed CEO all the way down to the street, schizophrenic, panhandler. Must we automatically call everyone, “sir” when they get in our faces? Must I practice this so much that every single time I get in a jam, I reflexively call the bad guy, “sir?” Does this suggested show of respect actually work?
No. In fact, if you call some of them sir it will further anger a few of them. Worse, if you call some of them sir, it will inflate them. Let me explain this inflation. A large percentage of common encounters are bully-type problems, people who want to make a bullying and demeaning display and fed his ego and/or entertain his friends. Or, for his own sick reasons, just wants to fight. But! He also doesn't particularly wish to end up in the hospital emergency unit at the end, does he? He wants that violent thrill, with no spill.
You come along and he threatens you in the classic, high percentage bully display. You call him - Sir. This does two things. It both inflates him and makes you more of a submissive, easy target. It is a win-win for him. And you are already losing ground.
“Don't call me sir.” I ain't your pal!” “I ain't your friend!” Buddy, etc…
Some people in the northeast USA would routinely use the word, “pal.” As in “back off, pal!” The usual response to that is, “I ain't your pal.” Pal is like friend. Like buddy. It also has became common to try to diffuse a situation with a calm voice and the added noun like "friend" instead of a sir or a pal. The same response could be anticipated,” I ain't your friend.” This doesn't mean it won't work sometimes. I am just telling you what you might expect to hear back.
Out west or in the northeast USA you would hear the term, “Mister,” as in..."Leave me alone mister!” The term mister in this sense has become vanilla enough to use. I do think a lot of these terms like mister, pal and so forth, are terms spread through movies and televisions.
If you want to inflame the situation? Pre-emptive strike? Call him an epitaph! Some will suggest you go right after the bully instantly, slinging epitaphs and fists even. That has worked for some, but realistically you have to be ready, aware and prepped for the problem. If you are approached suddenly, ambushed and distracted, you might not be so ready to respond.
There are lesser-known strategies on this subject. Some suggest using common names in a Russian roulette manner and hope you might hit on it. The idea being that the protagonist might know the victim somehow. But, they may quickly say, “my name ain't John.”
I actually had less of gamble at the name-game once in an altercation in Texas. A guy jumped in front of about 6 of us waiting in a grocery store line in the 1980s. On the back of his western belt was tooled the name “Larry,” a fad of the era. I shouted out. “Larry here, sure is in a big hurry!” or words to this effect. He was stunned that I somehow knew him, forgetting about his signature belt, as most people did when wearing that fad kind of belt. He looked like a rough customer but since I used his name out loud like this and in an impatient tone, I actually berated him to the back of the line. I was younger and foolish then and would suggest now that you just let some small things like that go. Just let them go.
That is a Texas incident. The world is full of their own, unique tribal customs and unique name-games. Couple all that with the fact that there are so many "who" people to translate and identify! So many differing kinds of protagonists and confrontations in so many situations! Best thing in general? Ditch the words of endearment. Don't call him anything. And, as a matter if principle? Never call someone who is marching up to kick your ass…“sir.”
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/08/07 The Talk Continues! What He Say?
It may be very hard to figure out what an aggressor wants from you at times. All arguments and fighting are highly situational. But at times what they want is quite easy to discern. They tell you instantly. Criminals have a mission and that assignment almost always necessitates verbal commands. When you think of who might confront you in your life, add into the equation where these common confrontations might be. What do such people want. Then, what they will say to get it. In a straight-up crime? The message is usually clear. Common criminals will corner you with a series of ploys and often bark out commands like:
"Gimme' your wallet!"
"Gimme" your car keys!"
"Come with me!"
Whether you are a bank teller, or walking down the wrong alleyway, you may be approached by five main, get-close ploys:
Ploy 1) The quiet approach
Ploy 2) The sneak-up, ambush attack
Ploy 3) The questioner ploy
Ploy 4) The need-help ploy
Ploy 5) The catch-all ploys...other creative, longer and new, ever-changing, inventive ploys
Ploy 1) In the quiet approach, one or more just walk up and surround you. No words needed in this quiet beginning. You have walked into their best zone to jump you. They may surround you, get REAL close, or grab and then they...(who are those guys? What do they want?) Remember if you spot these people in the distance, take note of what they are doing? Not looking around and staring at the ground...to much? Looking around way to much, for witnesses? Or just really nervous? Students of the obvious are better predictors of the unusual. Criminals can become very poor actors, falling into stereotypical roles. A smaller percentage of criminals may earn Oscars.
Ploy 2) In the sneak-up attack, they hide-away or stand-away and then jump you when you walked into their best zone and then they... (who are those guys? What do they want?)
Ploy 3) In the questioner ploy, they approach, or get you to approach them somewhat into their best zone, by asking some sort of a question. They expect no real answer that they will need to listen too. They ask what I call a "shallow question" and they pay no real heed to your answer, paying "shallow attention" to your words. Often you can naturally detect this before-and-after shallowness. Probably the single, most common shallow question is for directions, or for the time? What else? Then they get you and... (who are those guys? What do they want?)
Serious military example: Asking for the time is an old-school, military and spy assassination trick. The assassin sees what hand the target's watch is on. He approaches with a knife concealed in his proper hand, asks the target for the time and at the right, split-second, he stabs under the raising watch-side arm. 90 percent of the population is right handed. Watch on left wrist. The heart being on, more of less, the left side of the chest.
Ploy 4) The need-help ploy. Probably the most noted person that needed frequent "help" was serial killer Ted Bundy, who often dressed up in fake broken arm and leg casts and lured women over to his best zone (car) for help. Pedophiles ask children for help in finding lost pets. The idea is to get you over to their best zone under the guise of needing help to get you and then they... (who are those guys? What do they want?). Criminal partners may fake fainting, may undertake any ruse of help get you into their best zone of action.
Ploy 5) Catch-all Ploys. Criminals may be ingenuous. They may call you on your phone and trick you into meeting them at your bank to withdraw money for some crazy scheme that sounded logical at the time. Always be on the look out for a ploy, scam or scheme.
Other related points, plans, ploys and pointers:
-) Where are their best zones? Yours? Once again we resort back to Primer Step 1 and the W's and H's. Where will they set you up? Where should you avoid?
-) How else will they talk? A common criminal can be very scared and nervous. Their crime, time-table can be very time-sensitive and they may be very concerned of the time involved to commit the crime, speaking/shouting in loud voices, or growling, low tones and in single words and sentences. If they talk slow and calm? This is not a good sign. Get the picture?.
-) never shake hands with these strangers as they approach you with their ploys. The handshake captures 90% of the populations strongest arm and weapon pulling arm.
More "The Talk" issues coming next...
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/06/07 The Talk! What NOT to Say
Last month we covered my 12 Step Primer for Self Defense and without a doubt the first and most important one is the Primer #1: "Who, What, Where, When, How and Why listings. To train in advance for potential troubles, you can do no better than to answer those questions as best you can. I warn folks that as we proceed through the next 11 primer steps, you will constantly have to refer back to Step 1 to reset your navigational gyroscope.
Primer Step 5 is "The Talk," that is to say - your talk AND his talk. When you are in a predicament, what will you say? What will he say? Now there are numerous self defense and survival programs that like to offer you quick lines to shout or calming, toned words to respond with. These programs are obsessed with solving road rage, mugger and rapist confrontations. They are presented in a manner that you innocently think their solutions are universal. But what about the different kinds of road ragers, muggers and rapists and well...what about anyone else on the planet you may have a confrontation with? I would like to suggest to you here, that there are no universal phrases or speeches that will get you out of all jams, or make an approaching madman, attacker or soldier leave you alone.
Why? Because your phrase is directed to a person from the multitude of varieties from Primer Step 1's first "W." Who is this guy? A Biker? A zealot? A Hit man? A druggie? A panhandler? What exactly does he want from you? Your car keys? Revenge? Where is this all happening? When? How? Why? You get the Primer 1 picture. How can you figure out the best, most effective thing to say, unless you know who you are talking to? Worse, remember these questions reflect right back on you! They will be answered. Who are you exactly at the moment? The boss at work? Or, three hours later, the boss becomes the daddy at the park? The customer in the bank? We transition to many roles though the day and people we argue and fight with interact with the "you" of the moment.
Your influence and situation with a crazed employee is different than when you are in an argument at your kid's soccer game, parking lot. The bouncer, the police officer, the football stadium gate guard, the girl walking the dog, the hot dog vender, all are different characters, dealing with other different characters. What you say in one place, in one role, may not work always work someplace else.
Because of these numerous variables, I always cringe when I hear some self defense instructor give students specific things to say when in a confrontation. You must be trained to recognize who you are, who you are talking to and also, what NOT to say! While I dare not list what you must say all the time? What NOT say is something I can investigate. Here are some examples of often and usually wrong things to say:.
Often and Usually Wrong 1) Now sir, calm down
Often and Usually Wrong 2) Sir...and other Terms of Endearment
Often and Usually Wrong 3) Can I help you with something?
Often and Usually Wrong 4) I don't want to fight.
Often and Usually Wrong 5) Screw off!
Often and Usually Wrong 6) Always Screaming "No!"
Often and Usually Wrong 7) Big Words
Often and Usually Wrong 8) Saying Nothing
Often and Usually Wrong 9) The Gestalt Therapy Approach: Chess or Checkers?
Often and Usually Wrongs 10) Loss of the Command Voice
Often and Usually Wrongs 11 on up.... unique ad infinitum
Often and Usually Wrong 1) Now sir, calm down. Think about it. Has anyone ever said that to you? Did it work? Did it make you as mad or madder still? For about thirty years now, police have been trained by mental health and psychology experts to NEVER tell an agitated/angry person to calm down. You can ask groups of enforcement officers their opinion on this and the majority will tell you that the phrase "just calm down," is not a wise choice of words. Rather, the sort of empathetic version,
"I can see your upset. Why?"
But, here again we have the who-are-you-talking-to question. If you are trying to communicate with an angry biker or rough-looking dude? You might instead say,"
"Man! I see you are pissed. Why?..."
"Man, I see you are pissed? What happened?"
This may work better. But, now prepare FOR AN ANSWER! The most common responses might be:
"You bet I am pissed! You just...."
or
"You don't know what happened? You just.."
His talk? Yes! Most instructors never think past their opening line. In other words, think a little deeper than your opening line. When you start studying the Primer 1 Ws and H, and then look into the other 11? You begin to get a handle on what kind of people you may be dealing with and then guess what they may say back to you. "His talk," is the single most ignored concept. Or, as I like to say in Step 12...what happens next? Think of the common answers. Plan your responses in advance.
These are far more productive responses than you demanding from an authoritarian position to order "just calm down." There are a number of books on this precise communication subject. But take good care from whom you read. They may well be regurgitating the un-researched nonsense of others. Inexperienced people daydream and concoct self defense responses and get to teach them. In fact, it has been my experience to avoid in general, martial arts-based books and look the psych and medical exerts, or people with decades of experience in quelling disturbances and violence.
A thought-provoking book is called Verbal Judo by Dr George Thompson. Doc "Rhino" completed his post-doctoral work at Princeton University in Rhetoric & Persuasion. This book comes from an institute and has stood the test of time, It is full of ideas, research and solutions. No matter what you look into, remember that one size never fits all and one phrase never fits all confrontations.
http://www.verbaljudo.com/kata/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1
Coming next, discussions on more Wrong Things To Say list . I will list more books and references to use.
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/02/07 House to House, Decade to Decade, War to War, Century to Century Even
I was at an Army base last year or so, looking around and something just wasn't right. I finally figured out what it was. Everything was tan. Tanks, vehicles, uniforms...tan. I was subliminally use to green from my day. Once Jungles. Now Deserts. Some things have changed and some haven't. Over the last few years I've read two books that span this jungle-desert era ...House to House.
One's old. One's new. I am in it for the tactics and 1st person narratives. Great education.
At first, you might ask, "how can two books legally have the same title. Technically the subtitle is attached to the title making it different. Sometimes the publishers officially link the author's name to the title, changing the title part that is similar.
Both these books are educational and worth reading. Take copious notes on the tactics and the predicaments.
Next we look at historical fiction. Steven Pressfield, author of respected Gates of Fire on the "300 Spartans" saga. Pressfield is noted for his meticulous research. In this great book is the story of Alexander the Great in Afghanistan, told through a foot soldier's voice. The troops were forced to abandon their open-field formation battles and invade into villages and houses. The techniques they used back then were the same as we use today. This caused me to look more into the research of ancient military building and room invasions. Commonalities?
- Breaching
- Entry tactics (x's, button hooks, shock and awe, etc...much the same!)
- Ensconced enemy
- Booby traps
House to House. Much is still the same. Still very dangerous.
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
11/01/07 Starting the month off right!
A reminder of some upcoming big seminars and camps
Hock and McCann in
Ft Washington, PA (eastern PA/west NJ border)
Nov 17, 18
Austin, TX USA, Jan 12, 13 Fire and Brimstone!
BIG Survival Ground Fighting Seminar.
Hand, Stick, Knife and Gun Ground Fighting
CQC Group Camp, Gent, Belgium - Dec. 7, 8, 9, 10 2007
CQC Group Camp Sacramento, CA. USA, Jan 24-27 2008
(all seminars build the ranks for the CQC Group AND
the SFC Hand, Stick, Knife, Gun and PAC courses.)
Any comments? Continue the thread on the talk forum! http://www.hockscombatforum.com
Report back to Headquarters! http://www.hockscqc.com/
